I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
