Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
