im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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