she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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