turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
