Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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