I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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