How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
