So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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