I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
