she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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