I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
