Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I didn't notice because vodka
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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