Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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