Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
