if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
