i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Randomize