We won't sleep together?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
