yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
