I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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