She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
