clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
