i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
