Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
