By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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