this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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