does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
