no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
