All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
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