if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Randomize
