I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
