i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
