I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
