she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just want nice things and good sex
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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