Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
