Who wears a wallet chain?!
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
