It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
