break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
