your parents love me but you hate me
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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