By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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