So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
