We won't sleep together?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
