She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
