what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
