About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
