no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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