Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i will never coherently bang her
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
