She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Randomize