I don't have enough holes for all these australians
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize