shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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