I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
