SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
