The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize