i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
