so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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