drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
