I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
