I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Bang-toberfest begins!!
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
