Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
