we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
