Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
