I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
