I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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