i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
