super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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