I'm so fucking centered right now
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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