im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize
