8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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