so that wasnt chicken after all
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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