can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
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