somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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