When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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