i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
