Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
